Healing and Channelling

Wednesday Worldly Wisdom message from spirit – What is shame?

Shame, what is it? Where did it come from? How can we release it?

Read the message further down this page from my spirit mentor Rosa on the higher perspective of shame

Both men and women experience shame and here I focus on women. Women are walking around feeling shame on all levels, particularly around their bodies, menstruation, miscarriage, termination, birth trauma and struggling to conceive or not wanting to, enjoying sex, enjoying their bodies. Basically shame around who they are and the beauty and power they hold as creators and birthers of life.

How and why has this become normal? The truth is there is no such thing as shame – it is trauma. And why are many of us so traumatised? Partly because we’ve been told we’re bad in our greatest moments of vulnerability.

Women and girls around the world are hidden in sheds or outhouses, unable to share food with the family because they are menstruating and viewed as dirty. Many of us hide our sanitary products. Breastfeeding, can you, can’t you, should you, shouldn’t you – shouldn’t what – feed your baby!? All natural life giving processes. Termination is banned in many countries, largely dictated by men and women not alllowed to have a choice over their bodies. A male doctor told me ‘this happens to so many women you have to accept it’s not personal’ after my third miscarriage. Well it certainly felt personal but it seemed emotions were unnecessary as i was made to feel like a ‘hysterical, hormonal women. No, I was a grieving mum. Enough of us all walking around carrying this shame within, this trauma and sadness. It is not yours to carry.

Imagine feeling free of shame, free of trauma that you have done something wrong, are wrong? What is your truth? the truth is you are love, powerful, beautiful, magical and commanding. You are so much more than you’ve ever been told.

“Shame, what is shame, what is this terminology of shame and why is it present in your human form? For it is certainly not an emotion that I feel here where I am now. But this does not help you understand shame and so I will do my best to describe it to you and from whence it came.

So shame is essentially about the shame of the body. The shame of the body that once gave and gave and gave in its infinite love of the Universe and of all beings present in that Universe. And it was of and with no shame that this love was given because this love was for the highest and best of all.

It was a choice to give and a choice to love and a choice to share all of the goodness of the body and all of the life force energy and all of the beings that could be birthed from it. And yet again at some point in time there were many who chose to question this love, this type of love that was all giving, and all seeing and all knowing of life.

For who are they to not have this love for themselves, who were they to not have this love and to bottle it up and sell it for all it was worth, who were they to not have control of and control over this love?

And so they took it. And they took it for themselves not knowing that they already had it, it was just buried so deeply within them they did not realise it. And it was the way that they took it that was the instigator and the catalyst for the shame that so many of you experience now.

For it was certainly not there before and at some point in time it will no longer need to be there, present within you, for there will be an even deeper understanding of what it is to love and what it means to give and in particular give life to another being, whether that be a being born into physical form or a being born back into the love and the arms of the whole Universe.

For you are not ready to go within, so deep within that you often feel you will never come out of it, come out of that box of shame that has been programmed into you from almost the beginning of time when it was that, those others decided that life was there to control, love was there to control, that only ‘they’ could make your choices of what was right or what was wrong and not the individual. And most certainly not the woman.

For who was a woman to make such a choice of who lives and who dies? For surely it is only the male of the species, the male who himself cannot create life in either your human sense, or universal sense, that must be the one to control and be in control of this process of creation.

For surely if it was the women, then where does that leave the male? What would happen to the male, to the masculine, to the point of them, if they were not able to control the women? For surely the women would simply give and give and give and what would happen then if we all just did give and give and give?

It is not a concept that can come easily to the male, for this is an energy of take and claim in their being. And it is this that has got out of balance. And it is this that must now come full circle and back into balance.

For the female to rise yes, but for the male to be heard and to be understood and for their fears of being inconsequential, a fear that runs so deep within the veins of the Universe, that it affects all things and affects all life.

For once the male is recognised and honoured for the Master creator they are in their own right, that once they are recognised as the being that must be visible within the process of creation, that creation is indeed the balance of both the male and the female, then it is then and then it is now, that a true creation can happen.

The creation of life on all planets as and when an individual Soul so chooses to incarnate or so chooses to be birthed, or so chooses to experience the depths of the pain of loss in order to heal and to lift and to rise through this pain and understand that they are not only living this pain now but indeed playing out an ancient, ancient story of fear – fear of the wiping out of the masculine.

And it is to this fear that we must now all turn to ease and to coddle the male in order for the world to feel a safe place once more. A safe place to be. A safe place without fear or without shame. For in reality there cannot be any such thing.”


Channelled by Debra Kilby from my spirit guide Rosa

If you are looking for support on your life journey or your journey to motherhood, whether healing the hurts of relationship with yourself, your own mother or preparing for conscious conception, struggling to conceive, have experienced baby loss or birth trauma, please reach out to me to help you connect with your baby or future baby, gain a deeper understanding and clarity of your what and your why, and transform how you feel about yourself and what’s happened so far so you can take your next steps with more confidence and a lighter heart. 

Or book in here for a free 30 minute life clarity call so we can see where you are now, where you would like to get to, what is stopping you from getting there – and how – we can release any blocks to get you to who you truly and where you wish to be.https://hellochat.as.me/?appointmentType=2795851

With so much love



My own Soul purpose is to support and guide women on their journeys to motherhood and bring them and their babies together. As well as heal the Mother wound we all experience no matter how gorgeous and blessed we have been with our own mother relationships. I am a spirit baby medium, Soul Plan reader, energy healer and channel for spirit. www.debrakilby.com



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